Some sites boast at having the most match ups or the most marriages, or the most whatever. It's all about marketing yourself for a relationship. Does anybody actually bump into somebody else say, in the grocery store, in the milk aisle, and ask them out? I don't think we trust each other enough anymore for that. One of the upsides to online dating is that the choice is yours to contact someone or not.
Most communication with online daters starts via email through the site. Back and forth go the messages and questions. Since most sites charge for essential services, such as reading an email someone sent you, a subscription is necessary, even for "free" sites. They will lead you down the path and then hold up their hand and say, "No further without paying." Is it worth it? It depends, I suppose.
It is a billion dollar industry. Online dating sites make their money through advertising and subscriptions. Some site use the Meyers-Briggs personality test to align future lovers. Other sites, such as eHarmony, use questions either generated by the prospective dater or questions the site has come up with. It seems rather artificial to me, kind of like standardized testing in schools. Not one size fits all.
I did online dating for a while. I had success until the relationship became troubled. I went offline for the relationship. We both agreed it would be best. We visited and I fell in love. Too bad for me.
The most interesting aspect of online dating for me was the progression of the relationship. Traditionally, there is a strong chemical reaction between people and they may end up fucking each other, think it is a great foundation to a relationship and, after a while, find they are not so interested in fucking all the time but have not developed the personal skills with their partner to maintain the relationship.
Online dating is the opposite. Yes, the photos make you look and then you read the profile. To contact someone, you send an email through the service. This goes on as long as it takes until you decide to Skype of meet somewhere. The advantage is that you have developed a talking relationship. Sex, if there is any, takes place after all the talking is done. In my book, a relationship would have a better chance at sustaining itself if approached in this matter. Many people are friends before lovers. I like it that way.
Some people have sex with their dates thinking that is the way to solidify the relationship. As for me, I can't do it. I have to be monogamous. Which means I don't get laid. That's ok. I just want to make sure that I know the person I am making love to. And there's only been one in the last couple of years. Sigh, I miss her but am happy to hold off until I can feel comfortable with someone again. I am completely disease free and want to stay that way. So, I wait. And wait. What's the hurry? None, really, but at 60, I know my time is short and I want my time to count. It all takes time. Time to get to know someone, time to love them, time to enjoy their company, time to make up your mind.
Dating doesn't seem like it is ever simple. If we are fickle or have had a bad experience or two with the opposite sex during dating, it may be difficult to trust enough to have a decent relationship. Many profiles on dating sites ask for someone "without any baggage." Baggage comes with every thing. We all have experiences that shape ou perspective and how we react to perceived wrongdoings. Consider, though, how this colors your perception of your prospective dates. If you have been hurt or taken for a ride by someone you met online, or not, this will certainly bend how you look at profiles and photos.
As for me, online dating is an option. It is one that is taken slowly and only part of the actuality of finding someone to date and possible develop a relationship with. But it is not the end all of dating. Yes, it is convenient and profitable for those who own the sites. There's still a part of me that want to meet someone in a more natural setting, like a bookstore.
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