Happy Happy, Joy Joy...

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Remember Ren and Stimpy?  No?  That's ok, I do.  A leetle song to celebrate another eventful day in my eventful life.  I am a very lucky man.  I seem to come out on the other end of things ok. Adversity, schmadversity.  Hang in there, dude.  Remember, The Dude abides... Just another in a string of events that make up the strands of my life, which has been a good one, so far.  I expect it will continue to be that way until the coyotes eat my bones.  I have strict orders to my wonderful girlfriend that should I become infirm, I should be wheeled in my wheelchair to the top of Rock Island Grade and leave me to the elements.  I shall drink Cabernet and Everclear and watch the stars come up.  In my infirmity, I will probably wet myself unless I am, as usual, dehydrated.  Either way, I will go peacefully and the coyotes will eat my bones.  It's not as bad as lying in a hospital bed in a permanent vegetative state with machines doing all the heavy lifting.  I've seen it.  No thanks.

Wait a minute, I'm not even going there yet.  That's a just in case.  I have plenty to do in the meantime.  I'm in a very good relationship to which my full attention can be given.  Not that it wasn't but this divorce thing, being legally married, always hung in the background kind of like somebody standing in the corner of the room, listening to every word said.  Now, there is no person listening, not that there was but I thought it a good analogy so I used it.

I'm feeling very light right now.  I've tried repeatedly to get a hold of my beautiful lover but I am afraid she is lost in the jungles of the Amazon and cannot get to me.  There is hope.  That just popped into my head so I wrote it.  I miss talking to her.  I love the sound of her voice and our conversations are perfect.  I never get tired of listening to her.  She is an intelligent person.  Me, too.  It makes it fun.  We have fun together.  When we're together.  We have fun on the phone.  I am excited to follow through with this person.  I have wonderful luck.

As good as I feel, and relieved, I still have work on the house to do.  I have a four-day weekend coming up.  I hope to get the bedroom finished so I can move back in and quit sleeping in the downstairs bedroom.  I found a box of laminate wood flooring, I think it is birch or maple, in the studio.  It was used for the kitchen floor.  I am using it on the landing just outside of the bathroom.  I think I've got it the way I want it so I will start the attaching process which includes adhesive.  I'll put the main part down first, then spend hours, probably, cutting the little pieces.  I'm not too sharp at doing the little pieces but have enough flooring to practice on.  :)

The courtroom today was comical.  The judge was a hoot.  Couples were yelling at each other in the courtroom.  I expected the gendarmes to come in at any minute to whisk the offenders away.  the judge yelled, "Be quiet you two!"  And they were.  Then, as they are sitting down after their case had been heard, the guy says to the woman, who evidently was his ex-wife, "You lyin' bitch!" Then she screams at him and I was positive the gendarmes were on their way but there was only an interpreter to come between them.  I laughed and shook my head.

When it was my turn to go sit in the hot seat, it was very formal.  My ex-wife sat at the other table. I think I was sitting at the prosecutor's table but that could be wishful thinking.  The divorce is uncontested.  The judge read through the stuff and was really nice about us forgetting to put stuff in the statement.  I get the house so he figured it should say I am responsible for mortgage payments.  Never thought of that.  He went through it all and then said, "It's too bad you two are getting divorced.  You seem to agree on everything which is unusual."  I replied, "We decided to go with Divorce With Dignity, your honor."  The two lawyers in the room, my ex-wife, and the judge laughed.  The judge said, "There ought to be a law or something..." to which I said, "You'd think so, your honor."  I knew I was winning huge brownie points by calling him Your Honor.  Then again, I teach Civics and know the protocol.  My father was a judge, too, but I never called him Your Honor.  Even my ex-wife said, "Yes, sir."  I would smile at the judicial faux paus.

What the judge couldn't know as to why we agreed on everything is because we couldn't afford lawyers and really had nothing to fight over.  Oh sure, she got the Chinese porcelain vase I coveted but what the fuck?  That was about it.  We both just wanted it to be done.  Outside the courtroom, my ex-wife offered me her hand.  We shook.  She said thanks.  I said you're welcome.  Then she said, "Drive safely back to town."  I said thanks again but was thinking  Thank God I don't have to if I don't want to.  But I did anyway.  The county seat is at the 3000ft above sea level mark.  Coming down you can see the Cascade Mountain Range in the near distance.  They were capped with snow and the sun was shining.  Voluminous, poofy clouds floated through the blue sky.  There was an air inversion which held some of the clouds onto the mountains with only the mountain peaks climbing above the clouds.  It was perfect.  I felt so good, I turned on the radio and sang along to classic rock.

So, that's that for that.  Next?